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The latest crop of Darwin Awards have been announced. For those who don't know, the Darwin Awards are a salute to the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who remove themselves from it. Of necessity, this honor is generally bestowed posthumously. Some Highlights for this year include: - Chimney sweeper blown up in an exercise of practical stupidity
- Military man attacks wrong place, wrong time and wrong man with Bayonet
- UK man learns that lava lamps aren't designed for the oven!
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Chimney sweeper: One fateful afternoon, 55-year-old Marko retreated to his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something, that would do the trick. But what could he use as a weight? He happened to have the perfect object. It was heavy, yet compact. And best of all, it was made of metal, so he could weld it to the chain. He must have somehow overlooked the fact that it was also a hand grenade and was filled with explosive material. Marko turned on his welding apparatus and began to create an arc between the chain and the grenade. As the metal heated up, the grenade exploded. The force of the explosion killed poor Marko instantly, blasting shrapnel through the walls of the shed and shattering the windshield of a Mercedes parked outside. Marko's chimney was untouched, however. Lava Lamp Fracas We have a new Darwin winner, with the recent demise of a man at the hands of his lava lamp. "Why on Earth he heated a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know," said baffled police. No drug or alcohol evidence was found; Philip Quinn, 24, in his right mind, placed a lava lamp on his kitchen burner and turned up the flame. In due course, he rediscovered this favorite explosive generator of deadly shrapnel. He was found dead in his Kent trailer home, a shard of glass through his heart.
More info on the Darwin Awards can be found here: http://www.darwinawards.com/ |
